By Melissa Dittmann Tracey, REALTOR® Magazine
At REALTOR® Magazine online this month, you’ll find a list of the top 10 worst showing offenses your home sellers can make. The list was culled from the most common responses of more than 50 buyer agents who shared what they’ve witnessed in touring homes with their clients.
But kitty litter boxes and dirty dishes in the sink aside, some buyer agents say they’ve seen much worse when touring homes with their clients. Here are some of the “Hall of Fame” of worst showing offenses. Be sure to chime in below with the worst offenses you’ve witnessed too!
Hide the ‘Body Bag’ Before the Showing
“The worst thing I ever witnessed during a showing was seeing a full body bag on the floor of the master bedroom closet. I was showing a home to a couple and their 10-year-old daughter. The wife opened the master bedroom closet and screamed when she saw a full body bag. Upon further inspection by myself and the husband, we discovered the body bag was packed with clothing for storage purposes. Still, it was extremely creepy. Needless to say, they did not purchase that home. Now I jokingly warn all my sellers to put away the body bags before the house goes on the market.”
–Shannon Register, broker-owner of Register Real Estate Advisors, Spring, Texas
Who Let the Dogs Out?
“I called a listing agent to make a showing appointment and she informed me of a small dog closed up in the laundry room. She asked that I let the dog out into the backyard during the showing. Being a dog person, I agreed, but when I arrived my clients were already there and entered the home with me, even though I asked they wait outside while I took care of the dog. When I opened the laundry room, the dog fired out like a cannon across the kitchen and into the living room, half barking and half screaming, while simultaneously spraying bodily fluids and firing solids across the floor. My well-meaning client took a dive for the dog. The dog took a bite out of him! The dog then flew into the master bedroom and scampered under the bed. The owner’s father arrived to help us, coaxing the dog out and back into the laundry room. Meanwhile, I cleaned up the dog mess on the kitchen and living room floors and gave my client first aide for his dog bite.“
–LePage Williams, EXIT Realty of the Valley, Madison, Ala.
Home Showing or Crime Scene?
“I was showing a property to a relocation family from Texas. We walked upstairs and spotted red blood stains across the green carpet. We walked into the kids bedrooms, and I saw the dresser drawers were all pulled out and missing clothes. The closet hangers were empty and piled on the floor. As we continued looking at the home, we walked in the master bedroom, which had a large canopy bed and white sheets. The sheets had been pulled back and the bed was covered in bright, red blood. The entire bed! We walked closer to the bed, and I saw a pile of family photos on top of the blood. We left the home and I immediately called the listing agent. We then contacted the police. The police investigated and questioned the home owner about the mysterious blood. The home owner had to prove to the police that his wife was safe. Later, the listing agent told me ‘my client said his wife was having female problems.’”
–Christine Smith, RE/MAX Accord, Pleasanton, Calif.
Sure, Blame it on the Dog!
“I made an appointment, giving three days prior notice to show a home. The listing agent wanted to be sure I knew the owner had a blind dog that might have spilled food around his dish. When I arrived, I was so embarrassed but I also had to laugh: The blind dog was sitting very quietly in ‘his’ lounge chair. There were dirty dishes stacked in the sinks, unmade beds, and worse of all, ladies panties on the floor. Don’t blame the dog!”
–Joy McClinthen, Joy McClinthen Realty, Pachuta, Miss.
Overly Honest Home Owners
“The sellers insisted on meeting buyers during inspections. The buyers confided to the seller that they were moving because they had a crazy neighbor who would not leave them alone. The seller agreed, telling the buyer that they also had a crazy neighbor who would not leave them alone. The deal fell through that day.”
–Jeff Fairchild, RE/MAX of Stuart, Stuart, Fla.
These are hilarious and I truly believe it. I’ve seen lots of crazy things. One home I went to had 11 dogs in it.
I have shown a couple of houses where the owner or tenant had snakes. In one house, there was a big sign on a bedroom closet door. DO NOT OPEN! PYTHON INSIDE! Needless to say, my clients did not put an offer on the home! One other time, I was showing a tenant-occupied home. I opened the front door and found that the tenant had place a large snake in a terrarium in the hallway right in front of the door. Once again, my clients did not place an offer on the home. But then, I suspected that was exactly what the tenant wanted!
When I first started selling 35 years ago, I had clients who were trying to decide whether to buy in Stockton or Sacramento (they were re-locating from Japan). It was the highest price range I had ever worked with and one of the homes was a two story reverse plan on the Delta looking out over the valley and Mt. Diablo beyond. A bachelor owned the home and had approved the showing via lockbox. We viewed the beautiful living quarters upstairs taking in the magnificent views, the gourment kitchen, the open and welcoming living/family room combination and they were giggling with excitement about finding such a treasure. We went downstairs to view the bedrooms and when we got to the master and opened the door…yep, you guessed it…Mr. Seller was in bed with a lovely lady and we quickly closed the door and made our quick retreat. When we were about to get in the car, Mr. Seller came out with a robe on and asked if we wanted to see the master suite. Talk about a motivated seller!! I always, always, always ring the doorbell, knock and when I enter I yell out, “Realtor in the house!”…just in case!!!
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My worst (in my opinion) and most memorable showing was of a single story starter home built in the mid 1980′s. Three bedroom, 2 bath and roughly 1800 square feet. Everything was going great until we (my two clients and I) walked into the master bedroom. I instantly noticed in the ceiling 4 hooks hanging from the ceiling. I thought; “odd place to hang your plants – at the four corners above the bed.” Then I stopped. Backed up to the door again and re-evaluated the 4 hooks. The four hooks were the size to hang a bike from it. Then it hit me – the couple selling the house were into SMBD!!! I looked at my clients. They looked at me and said; “we like this house.”
At closing we found out and witnessed the roles of the married couple (sellers): She was a tall, beautiful brunette with hazel eyes, very strong, commanding dominatrix – yet elegant. And he was this hunky, 6’0″, brown hair, blue eyed, mid-thirties (very content) submissive. They looked like your ordinary married couple.
To date it is the only closing I have been to that the husband was made to sit in the lobby of the title company, while the wife closed first in the conference room with my clients. They are a very happily married couple still to this day! The selleing agent is a good friend of mine.
The crime scene is just too funny. That must have been embarrassing as all get out.
I have been in the business for 20 years. One walked in on a selling smoking a bong full of marijuana!